


Life half lived

by caitpaige101, emanalraise



Series: Tumblr Promts [5]
Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Depression, Mentions of Rape, Mentions of Suicide, Multi, Slow Burn, mentions of self harm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-10
Updated: 2018-07-15
Packaged: 2018-08-21 18:11:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 5,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8255471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caitpaige101/pseuds/caitpaige101, https://archiveofourown.org/users/emanalraise/pseuds/emanalraise
Summary: Set before Aaron told any one about his fathers abuse. Its new years eve and Diane wants all the Sugdens and Dingles to have a nice meal but things go down hill..S/O to Emanalraise who wrote this Fic and sent it to me to edit. :)





	1. The reveal!

**Author's Note:**

  * For [emanalraise](https://archiveofourown.org/users/emanalraise/gifts).



> WARNING- MENTIONS OF RAPE AND SELF HARM

The reveal.

It was new years eve and Diane decided to invite both the Dingle clan and Sugden family for dinner. She invited every single Dingle and Sugden family member. Alongside Adam, Doug, Ross and the one person Aaron wished wasn't coming-Gordon.

Diane was so happy to join both families together and everyone else shared her happiness apart from Aaron. He was scared and frightened. it had been years since he last saw his dad. He didn't think he would be able to deal with seeing him.  
Since that first time Aaron has lived in fear. He cowered away. Petrified someone would find out what had happened. He ran back to the village hoping he would never have to see that man again. He wished every night that he would never see Gordon again. He didn't want his secret to come out. Not today. Not in front of every one.

Aaron was so tired of keeping this secret especially in the presence of his dad. The first time he saw him a few weeks before Christmas he had started self harming again. He hadn't done it for so long. He had been happy with his life. contempt even. Yet that man held power over Aaron. He couldn't open his mouth to speak. He had been clean for so long. He was doing so well. Now he's fucked up again. He had been admitted into hospital with septicaemia. They told him he could've died but in that moment who wouldn't have minded. But he couldn't keep it any longer and his sadness alongside his anger were rising with the minute.  
It seemed every one was enjoying their meal. Aaron looked around and saw all the happy faces. Cain and Moria laughing together. Victoria and Andy deep in conversation Robert, Diane and Doug chatting with big smiles on their faces. Aaron wished he could smile so genually.  
Chas noticed her son's sadness while she was talking to Gordon.  
"Aaron, love, are you alright" She said in a whispered voice  
"Yes I'm fine" he replied with a hint of annoyance. 

Why couldn't she see? Why could nobody see.? Aaron felt like he was fighting a losing battle. Why could nobody see how depressed he was?  
"Don't talk to your mother like that" Gordon said in a raised voice  
Aaron tried his best to ignore Gordon  
"Mum, can i be excused please. I'm tired"

Tired of being alone. Tired of being sad. Just tired of life.

Gordon got angry.  
"just finish your dinner you ungrateful boy"  
Aaron ignored him again but looked down at his plate. Chas noticed something was wrong.  
"Aaron why do you hate your father so much. He only wants what's best for you"

That was it for Aaron. He lost it. He couldn't contain it any longer  
"You want to know why i hate him so much" Aaron shouted making everyone stop what they were doing to look at him.  
"Aaron. sit down" Gordon ordered him  
"No. you don't get to order me around. You lost all the rights you had to parent me along time ago." Aaron shouted louder  
"Aaron please" Chas said quietly trying to get him to calm down  
"What mum. You really want to know why i hate this man so much" He lifted his shirt and revealed all of his scars and burns from when he self harmed.  
"You see all this. This was all because of him. He did this to me. You see these. I almost died because of them and it's all his fault."  
Chas spoke up.  
"How is that his fault."  
"You want to tell her or should I" Aaron said looking down at his father who didn't move a muscle. Aaron broke down into tears before finally..  
"He raped me mum. I was just a child and he.." Aaron paused pointing at Gordon  
"He..raped me three times." Aaron fell back into his chair. Tears strolling down his face. 

"He raped me." Aaron said again in a whisper.


	2. Moments of truth.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of the truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's taken do long to update but here we go.  
> Trigger warning:  
> MENTIONS OF RAPE,SUICIDE,SELF HARM AND CHILD ABUSE.

The next few moments were a blur to Aaron. He heard the gasps. He saw the looks. He couldn't be there. He ran. He didn't know where he was going but he had to get out of there. It was cold. He couldn't breath. It was so dark. So dark and so cold. He was growing tired. His legs feeling like jelly.

He stopped. He fell the the ground. Tears. Tears falling down his face. He could taste the salt in his mouth. Cold. Getting colder. He just lied there. He couldn't move. He told them. Told everyone. People knew. Hedidnt want this, didn't want any of it. Did my want thier pitiful looks. He couldn't be saved. Not any more. He heard someone calling his name.

A voice so soft. A voice filled with worry.

"Aaron. Please"

Robert's voice. So calm. So pure. One time this voice would of been all he wanted but not now. Not like this.

"Aaron you need to come inside. We can go to the farm. We can get away but we need to get you warm. Please Aaron. Just come with me. You don't need to talk."

He heard the older man beg. He got up and sat in the car. The drive to farm was peaceful. So quiet. He was still crying but as promised Robert didn't make him say anything and just handed him tissues when he needed them. He knew why Robert picked the farm. The furthest place away from him. That man. The man Aaron called a dad. The man who was meant to protect Aaron not harm him. He traced the scars on his arm. He needed to heal. He needed to escape. His breathing hitched. The car stopped and the door opened.

"Come on, let's get you in the warmth." He heard Robert say softly.

They got inside and Aaron headed straight for the sofa. Curling up into a ball. Robert came in a moment later with a glass of water and sat it beside Aaron before sitting in the armchair close to the sofa.

"Aaron if you want to sleep you can. Adam said moria and Cain can stay at his and Vics for the night." Robert told Aaron.

"Can..can you stay here..with me I don't want to be alone." Aaron stuttered out. He looked so small. So vulnerable. 

"Yeah, yeah of course I will. You're safe now Aaron." Robert whispered leaning over and placing a blanket over Aaron.

"Thanks." Aaron said falling asleep.

* * *

 

He woke up in the middle of the night hungry. He was about to get and get something when he saw a sausage nutty on a plate in front of him alongside a pack of crisp and a few biscuits. He looked over and saw Robert. Sitting in the arm chair on his phone. He realised that Robert was staying up to look over Aaron. Make sure nothing happens.

He started on the butty. Still warm. Robert got up in the middle of te night to make Aaron a sandwich.

"I was 8. The first time." Aaron spoke up making Robert put down his phone and look at Aaron.

"He said I needed to be taught a lesson. Needed to be put I  my place." He didn't dare loom at Robert as he spoke. He couldn't.

"The first time...He did it again?" Robert asked 

" three times. Once when I was 8. Then when I was 10 and the last was when I was 12." He paused taking a breath. "He tried when I was 15 but I got away. Ran here and stayed here."

"Aaron, you know it wasn't your fault don't you. You were a kid. He was meant to protect you. None of this is down you you." Robert spoke calmly 

"Yeah I know.. but I didn't always. When I was coming to terms with my sexuality I thought I was gay because of what he did to me. It's why I didn't want to be gay. Why I hurt myself. One of the reasons I tried to kill myself." Aaron said honestly

"Did you ever tell anyone?" 

"No. I couldn't. This is the first time I've ever told anyone." 

"Aaron, what he Did wasn't right. None of this is ok. You were just a little boy. The scars on your body show how much you have had to fight for in your life. They're proof of your strength. You are the strongest most amazing person I know. You don't deserve this." Robert said 

"I know. Can we.. we continue this later. I'm just hungry and tired." Aaron spoke 

"Yeah. We will talk when you are ready." Robert replied going back into his phone leaving Aaron to it.

Aaron took one more bite of his sandwich and fell back to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What does the future hold?  
> I promise the next update won't take as long as last time-caitpaige101 
> 
> Love you guys.
> 
> If you have been affected by anything mentioned in this fic please contact someone.


	3. Long time coming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time for Aaron to tell his truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNINGS: MENTIONS OF RAPE, CHILD ABUSE, SELF HARM AND SUICIDE.

When Aaron woke up he was still on the sofa engulfed in a blanket. He could hear voices coming from the kitchen. 

"how is he Robert?" 

Vics voice. Soft and gentle. 

"at the moment he's asleep. He kept waking up last night."

"has he eaten? I could make him something" 

Aaron smiled. Vic was ways offering to make food in times of crisis. It was just one thing she admired about him. 

"we had bacon butties some time last night." Robert answered. It was then that Aaron could tell Robert hadn't slept. He stayed up all night to make sure he was safe. 

"did he.. Did he say anything?" Vic asked 

"no. I think he just wanted to be left alone." he heard Robert answer. Robert didn't want to say anything. Its not his story to tell. 

Aaron decided it was about time to get up. He headed into the kitchen and was glad when it was indeed just Vic and Robert. He couldn't deal with any one. Not just now. 

"hey. Morning" Robert greeted as if nothing had happened. He was treating Aaron normally. Not walking around on egg shells. Normality is what Aaron needed and Robert understood that. 

"how are you? No wait stupid question sorry" Vic asked and then regreted. 

"no its ok Vic. I'm ok or I will be. Just tired you know." Aaron tried to give a small smile but he knew that would all see through it. 

"I was just popping in. Seeing if you needed anything.." Vic started 

"Vic I'm fine. You should get to work. I'm sure Robert can fix something up." Aaron said looking to where Robert was standing. 

"yeah. What are we feeling. Cereal. Fry up." Robert said not missing a beat. 

"right I will leave you to it then." She said turning away. 

"wait Vic" Aaron shouted before getting up and walking towards her. She just opened up her arms and lead him onto a hug. 

"we are all here for you Aaron. You don't need to hide any more" she whispered softly in his ear. 

"I know" was all he replied 

Aaron pulled away and Vic waved goodbye leaving the boys alone. 

"cereal is good" Aaron said. 

"I'm on it." 

5 minutes later both men were Sat at the table, bowls of cereal in front of them. 

"how are you really doing?" Robert asked seeing Aaron was definitely not fine

"I feel like shit. Like I just want to run away and scream." Aaron answered. 

"how long have you had problems sleeping?" Robert asked. 

"since he came back. Every time I close my eyes I see him and I remember what he did." Aaron told Robert. 

"I can't. I just wanted the pain to go away but it wouldn't. No matter how deep I cut or how many times I burnt my skin. It was always there. He's always there in my head." He added. Tears falling down his face. 

"Aaron. Do you want to report it." 

"I.. I don't know. If I do I will have to tell a bunch loads of strangers who will question everything and I don't think I'm ready for that." Aaron admitted. 

He was scared. Scared of letting his guard down. Scared of losing people. Scared of being hurt again. He was just scared of it all. 

"If I report it I will have to see him again and I don't think I can cope with that." 

Truth flowing from his mouth for the first time. His truth. His past coming back to haunt him. 

"Aaron, you don't have to do anything you don't want to do. If you don't feel ready then you don't have to ok? It's all up to you. And we will all support that." Robert told Aaron. Needing him to know that he is supported no matter what he decides to do. 

"how is my mum?" Aaron asked. Deflecting attention away from himself. He knew Robert would know what he was doing. 

"she's ok. She's just worried about you." Robert answered softy. 

Aaron knew people would be worried. He didn't want that. He didn't want the attention on him. 

"does everyone know?" 

"no just those at the dinner party. We promised not to say or do my thing until you told us to. Your mum wanted to call the police the moment you ran out of the room but Cain and Adam told her not to. Told her it was your truth to tell." 

"I wanna go see her." Aaron stated. 

"Ok. Let me grab my keys and I'll drive you." Robert said s he was standing up. 

"um, could we walk. I just. I still need time but I want to.. I just.." Aaron couldn't get the words out. 

"hey, we can walk. If that's why you want. You don't need to justify it." Robert said giving a comforting smile. 

As they started thier walk it was quiet. Peaceful Aaron dared to say. He hadn't felt peaceful for a while. The breeze hitting his face as did the sun. 

" it all happened in my room." Aaron spoke up as they continued to walk. 

"always in my room, always in the dark of night. The second time when I was 10 I had been playing up at school. Just doing what kids do but he didn't like that. He shouted to me but he didn't think that was enough." 

Robert just nodded showing he understood and was listening. Knowing Aaron needed to talk through it with someone. 

" when I was 12 I got into a fight at school. I got punched and I threw one back. Dad, I mean he was called into school and he was angry that he had to take the time off work. So that night he, he did it again. I went downstairs later that night and there were fish and chips on the table. His way of saying sorry. " Aaron then went pale as he saw they were in the main part of the village. 

" hey, we are all here for you. Ok. Remember that. 

"thank you. For listening." Aaron said 

"you don't need to thank me." Robert said as they walked through the doors of the woolpack. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments really help the sport.   
> Constructive criticism is also welcomed. 
> 
> Sorry for the long wait. Life got in the way as it does.


	4. Family sticks together.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes all that is needed is family and right now Aaron needs that the most.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNINGS AS USUAL:  
> MENTIONS OF RAPE, ABUSE AND SELF HARM.

He could the voices before he could see his family's faces. 

"Cain, he hurt my baby boy. I need him to hurt for what he did." Chas shouted 

"Chas, it's up to Aaron. This is his battle all we can do is suport what he decides to do. I know it hurts ok. But we have to wait for Aaron and when he is ready." Cain told Chas trying to calm her down. 

It was then that Robert stepped into the room followed by a timid Aaron. 

" oh Aaron. " was all Chas said softly before engulfing him in a hug. He never wanted her to let go. In his mother's arms he felt safe like all those times she held him before all this.

She stepped back slowly letting go, looking at her son. 

Finally people saw the pain and hurt in his eyes. His silent plead for help was no longer silent but screaming loud. He was no longer alone but thoughts still clouded his mind. Fear still ran through him. 

"I'm sorry. I should never have left you with him" Chas chocked out. 

"mum, none of this is your fault" Aaron spoke, his voice raspy. 

"I should have known" 

"no one could know mum. He was manipulative. You left me with the man who was meant to protect me you couldn't of known what he was going to do." 

Tears started to fall. The room silent. Eyes the only communication needed right now. 

Aaron never blamed his mum. He could never blame his mum. The only person he could ever blame was that man. 

" I should leave you to talk things through with them" Robert suddenly spoke up breaking the silence with a small smile of comfort. 

"thank you." Aaron said again

"if you need me I'm only a text away."  Robert said as he walked away leaving Aaron with his family. 

He suddenly realised how many Dingles one room could hold and panic set in. 

"too many people" was all managed to speak before he started to breathe heavily. 

He saw cain ushering everyone out of the room leaving just his mum, cain, Zak and Lisa's with him. 

"Cain get him a glass of water" Lisa said as she moved Aaron to the sofa and Sat him down passing him the glass of water cain made. 

"do you need anything else son?" Zak said. 

He knew they were trying to help but he didn't want to be fussed over. 

"no. No it's ok." He got out of mouth, head pointing to the floor. 

"you talk when you are ready ok and only when you are sure." Chas said softly trying to comfort her son. 

Aaron started to retell his story. Eyes never leaving the floor. He couldn't look at thier faces. He couldn't bare to see the looks of pity. 

He knew his mum was holding back tears. He knew his uncle was angry at that man. He knew Zak was trying to understand and Lisa was reliving her own past. 

He finished telling them. Then the hugs came. Chas leaping forward. Whispering words of apologies in his ears and wiping away the tears from both thier face. 

"what do you want to do next?" Cain asked Aaron. 

"I.. I don't know. I don't think I'm ready to tell all those strangers." Aaron told them truthfully. 

He was scared. They would question him. Put doubt in everyone's mind. What if no one believed him. 

"Aaron, love. It's up to you what you do. Just know that we all believe you. I understand what it's like to go and tell your truth to a bunch load of strangers and I won't lie to you, it's terrifying but justice will be served." Lisa said softly lookin Aaron on the eye, giving a small reassuring smile. 

Aaron smiled back timidly. 

"tommorow," Aaron said looking at his family. 

"Tommorow I'll tell them but for now I just want to be with my family" He added giving a small nod towards Lisa as a thank you. 

He knew that with an army of Dingles he didn't have to be scared. He had his family behind him and that was all he needed. Even if nobody else believed him, his family did and that all he could ever ask for. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed reading.   
> Also I'm in writing mode so I will be updating and writing new chaoters/fics all this week. (my writing schedule can be found on tumblr/twitter)   
> Next week I will be doing prompt writing so send those in and I will see what I can do. 
> 
> Thanks ☺️


	5. Only time can tell..

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time for Aaron to tell the police because when all is said soon all will be done...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING:  
> RAPE, ABUSE AND SELF HARM

Aaron woke up and his throat was dry. Today was the day. The day when he would finally start to get his justice. 

He walked down the stairs to see his mother sitting at the living room table. 

"how long have you been awake?" Aaron asked making his way over to the tap to get some water. 

"a while,couldnt sleep properly" Chas explained but Aaron could see it in her eyes. She didn't sleep at all. He could tell she was awake, blaming herself for what happened. 

"yeah, me too" Aaron told her, he didn't fall asleep until the early morning. Fear and anxiety about today kept him awake. 

"Cain is coming around soon, said he'll bring brekkie before we go to the station." Chas told him, sipping her tea. 

"right ok." Aaron said 

Awkwardness filled the air, neither one knowing what to say. All minds were focused on one thing. Aaron telling his truth. 

Minutes later Cain came with the food and they talked about the unimportant stuff to fill the silence. 

Minutes turned to hours and they headed off to the station.

On the way to the car Aaron bumped into Robert. 

"hey, how are you doing." Robert asked, voice filled with worry. 

"um not all that good. I um.. Cains driving us down to the station." Aaron told him. Finding comfort in Roberts voice. 

"the station" Robert said confused then his brain caught up. "you're going to report it?" Robert asked

"yeah. Lisa said some things yesterday night and it made me realise that he can't hurt me anymore, so what do I have to loose" Aaron started before he heard Cain shout his name. 

"looks like you should be on your way" Robert pointed out.

"We are all behind you Aaron." He added giving another one of his reassuring smiles. 

"thanks" was Aaron could say before he turned and walked to the car. 

"you sure you're ready for this?" Cain asked 

"I dont think I'll ever be ready." Aaron answered and cain started to drive. 

It was too quiet. The dark thoughts going around his mind. Picking at his insecurities. Making him doubt himself. He tried to get those thoughts out of his head but it was no use. Once they were there they stayed. 

The sound of his father's voice booming in his head. The voice of the man who hurt him more than any one could ever hurt him. Telling him that he was weak. That he would never be believed. 

"Aaron, we're here" He heard his mothers voice. He hadn't realised that his head was in his hands until now. 

"we can always go back. You don't have to do this" Cain said as soft as he could. 

"no. I have to do this." Aaron replied with determination. 

Once inside they were greeted by DS Wise.

Aaron wasn't really paying attention to what was being said as they walked to the interview room. His hands started to fidget. 

"Aaron?" his mother's voice broke him out of his day dream again. "its time" she added 

"right. Ok" Aaron said before he walked into the room. 

He saw the cameras, knew that now justice was getting closer. All he had to do was tell his truth. 

"when you are ready state your name and date of birth. After that I need you to talk about the alleged rapes. Once you've done that I will ask you questions then we will be done" DS Wise stated and Aaron nodded 

"Aaron Dingle. 5th January 1992" Aaron. Started

* * *

 

"so you said you were eight the first time it happened," DS Wise started "why didn't you say anything then?" 

"I was scared. I knew why happened wasn't right but I didn't know what it was at the time. I just knew I shouldn't talk about it." Aaron answered.

"why didn't you say anything when you came back to the village when you were older?" 

"because I was away from him. I finally felt safe. I didn't think I would ever see him again. I wasn't ready either for people to know. I'm still not." 

DS Wise continued to ask questions and Aaron continued to answer. After a while it was all over and Aaron was told he was Allowed to go home. 

"so what happens next?" Aaron asked 

"we go and arrest Gordon, question him and go from there" He was told. 

The atmosphere on the drive back was a lot better.

Aaron was starting to finally feel free. Free from that man. Maybe one day he will be from the memories aswell but only time can tell. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg a double update. You guys are lucky.  
> If anyone ever needs to talk I'm always here.


	6. Lies against the truth.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gordon is questioned whilst Aaron turns to Robert for comfort.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry its been so long since the last update and I'm sorry its short just trying to get back into the flow.  
> As usual TRIGGER WARNINGS FOR RAPE CHILD ABUSE MENTIONS.

"Time is eleven thirty am. currently present are the accused Gordon Livesy, Detective Jason Wise and police officer Linda Pendal. The accused, when asked if he would like a lawyer present refused.

Mr Livesy you have been bought in today due to allegations made against you by Aaron Livesy that you did rape him when he was 8,10 and 12." DS Wise stated

"Well I can tell you right now that that is complete rubbish. I know he hates me but I didn't realise he hated me that much" Gordon said

"so you're saying he made all this up" DS Wise asked 

"yeah. I would never do that. I mean that's just sick" Gordon started. 

"I know he had a troubled child hood. lets face it having your mum just get up and leave cant be easy for a kid and sure after Chas left I didn't know what to do with myself so I may have hit him a few times but I never touched him in that way." Gordon added   

The interview went on for around half an hour. Gordon continued to deny that anything ever happened.

"so what happens now?" He asked

"well you are free to go for now as we collect evidence and depending on what evidence we get you may have to go to court." DS Wise explained

"go easy on him yeah, he breaks easy." Gordon said as he stood up to leave

"yeah I'll go easy on him" DS Wise replied emphasizing the word "him"

* * *

As soon as Aaron put the phone down everyone knew that it was bad.

"well.. what did detective Wise say" Chas asked

"he denied it all. Said I was just trying to back at him." Aaron told her and the rest of the Dingles that were gathered in the room

"so what happens now?" Belle asked tentatively

"gather evidence, more questions" Aaron responded already feeling overwhelmed.

Everyone kept asking questions. He didn't know how to answer.

He didn't want this. He didn't want all eyes on him. He couldn't handle it. Before he had even thought about it his legs started to move. Picking up pace. He just had to get out of there. He could everyone calling after him but he didn't care. He couldn't breathe. He just had to keep running. He just wanted to feel safe.

He ended up running to the barn. memories flooded back to him. yet no bad ones.

* * *

Robert Walked into the pub to see worry on most of the Dingles face.

"What's up with that lot?" He asked Vic

"Aaron's gone missing. He got a call from this detective or something. Think it might have something to do with Gordon" Vic answered simply

"forget the drink, but call me if he comes back yeah" he said already half way out the door.

* * *

he didn't know how long he'd been in the barn for. his phone switched off. Reality switched off.

He was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn't hear a car pull up

"Aaron?" he heard someone shout as the barn doors opened

"there you are. You're family's going crazy. Chas especially. What happened?" Robert asked as he slowly walked towards Aaron

"He wouldn't admit it. Wouldn't admit to what he did to me. hen they kept asking me questions and I couldn't handle it." Aaron shrugged picking at the hay

"so you ran...here" Robert said as he sat down

"i just needed to get of there and I didn't even think about it" he told Robert

"we had some good times in here" Robert joked with a wink and smirk making Aaron laugh for the first time since this whole thing started.

"yeah, yeah we did. still stinks though" Aaron said recalling what he told Robert during one of their first times in the barn.

"that and still no mattress" Robert said

"you know meeting you here in this barn was always the highlight of my day and not just because of the sex. our chats were interested and you somehow managed to put a smile on my face without meaning to. guess its why I fell so hard." Robert added

"You know even though I knew all I was was a bit on the side I couldn't help but fall. those moments we spent together were some of my best. Its why I ignored me mum and Paddy. Even after everything I still loved you." Aaron said voice breaking

"you always did bring out the best in me" Robert told Aaron with a smile "and now its my turn. I'm going to be here through all of this, even if you don't want me there. You ever need to talk to someone that isn't a Dingle or need to get your mind of it all" He added with a reassuring smile.

"thanks" Aaron said back

"however I think you should either text your mum to let her know you're still alive or go back to the pub. Otherwise she will go mental" He told him

"I don't think I can face them all."

"Well I mean Adam and Vic wouldn't mind you staying at ours tonight. I mean if you want. not.. not like with me but I mean we do have a comfy sofa or you can have my bed and I'll stay on the sofa" Robert stammered out "up to you"

"sofa sounds good thanks"

Aaron texted Chas letting her know what was going on as he Robert and him drove back to Vic's.

* * *

 

"oh Rob is that you. Aaron still not back. Chas is going mental" They heard Vic shout as they walked through the door

"umm Vic, can you put the kettle on" he said back as Aaron and him walked into the living room

"oh Aaron. you not going to the pub?" Vic asked as she noticed Aaron

"um..I..um" Aaron stutered not knowing what to say

"actually Vic, Aaron was thinking of staying here tonight on the sofa" Robert explained, giving Vic the look of "I'll explain more later"

"ok. does Chas know?"

"yeah, I told her. So the search party can stop searching." Aaron told her

"ooh we can have a movie night if you want. Or we can just leave you alone if you prefer." Vic said not quite knowing how to handle it all.

"movie night sounds good. probably shouldn't be left alone. However we can only have a movie night if Adam brings us food and drinks." Aaron replied making Vic smile and get on the phone to Adam.

"Thanks Robert for letting me stay. I don't think I can handle mum and Cain and the rest of them just yet." Aaron said, voice hushed

"I meant it when I said that I'm going to be here for you." Was all Robert whispered back before Vic walked back into the room with a collection of movies

He could do this. He just had to stay strong he told himself. He would win this.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Where do they go from here? Only time will tell.


	7. Life over Lies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He won't back down. Not now. Not after everything. His truth will be heard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNINGS: MENTIONS OF RAPE AND ABUSE.

He woke to sun in his eyes and laughter filling the air. He opened his eyes slowly to see Robert chasing Vic around her tiny kitchen trying to grab his phone.

"I just cant believe my big bro likes Taylor Swift." She giggled

"It's one song Vic. Its so flippin catchy" He said as he finally got his phone.

after the laughter died down Aaron decided to announce his presence.

"Morning" he said, voice rough.

"Oh, morning Aaron. Sorry if we woke you." Vic told him as she made a move for the kettle

"How you feeling?" Robert asked 

How was he feeling? He didn't know. Tired. Broken .Defeated.

"not sure. think I need to sleep for another eternity." He replied

 

He saw the realisation in Roberts eye. He knew Robert understood what he meant.

"God, me too. I tried to get ahead with the paper work but numbers and late nights don't really go together." Robert joked making Aaron laugh.

 

This is what he needed. Just a moment of normalcy. A moment where he could just forget what had happened. Just a moment of peace.

"Robert, Thank you."

"What for? I know that sofa isn't the comfiest thing to sleep on" 

"Just for helping, being..normal I guess." Aaron said avoiding Roberts eyes.

"All in a days work. Speaking of work. I should be heading off. If you want I could walk you back to the pub?" Robert questioned

"I don't know if I'm ready to face mum yet. I ran out on her. She's probably been up all night worrying. I mean I know that she knows I'm here but you know me mum. constant worrier." Aaron waffled.

"Aaron the longer you leave it the more worried she'll become. The only thing you need to focus on is yourself.  I mean you're welcome to stay but you know.."

"I know" Aaron interrupted "I'll drink my tea then I'll head home" He added

"I'll see you later then." Robert said, stuffing his phone and keys into his pocket before heading out the door.

 

He knew he should focus on himself. Focus on how he felt, but that made him feel selfish. He knew his mum blamed herself. He knew Cain wanted to nothing but kill Gordon. He knew all his family were falling apart, wishing for his pain to end. How could he focus on himself when all he wanted to do was make sure the rest of his family were ok. He needed them to know none of this was their fault. He knew the longer he kept his truth hidden the stronger their pain would get.

He knew he had to make sure that man never came near him or his family again. 

"Aaron, where are you going?" Vic asked, holding his steaming mug of tea in her hand.

"Thanks for everything Vic but I really need to go talk to me mam."

And with that he was off, well.. after putting clean clothes and his shoes.

 

He had never walked so fast in his life.

"MUM!" he called out and she came running down the stairs into the living room.

"Oh Aaron," Chas Started to say before Aaron interrupted 

"Mum I need you to just listen to me. I have spent my whole life being afraid of the man who was meant to protect me from the evil people in the world not be one. I have spent my entire life holding in all my pain and taken my anger out on everyone but the one person who deserved it. I've had enough. He can't win now. He won't win. I am stronger than before and I will take him down. I will tell the world what a sick bastard he really is. I need to find Sandra. Help me find her." 

 

He finally breathed. He finally let go. He knew he couldn't do this alone. He knew he would never be alone now. He was apart of a family now. One that truly cared.

 

"You know I would do anything for you, but why Sandra?" Chas asked

"Maybe she knows something, maybe she doesn't but she deserves to know what her ex husband is and I deserve a chance to meet my little sister."

 

Maybe she wouldn't want to know and Maybe Oliva wouldn't to get to know him but he has had enough of that man holding his back. He deserved to live his life free of all the lies that have kept him back.

His truth deserved to be heard and it will be heard.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long time no see. Hope you guys liked the newest instalment, sorry it took so long.As always kudos and comments are always welcomed. :)

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on tumblr at: cait-p@tumblr.com  
> I accept prompts/ideas/headcanons/unfinished-unedited fics that you guys have written and want help with :)  
> You can find Emanalraise on tumblr at: emanalraise@tumblr.com


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